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NECC News

04/24/2013
NECC/Siemens Valve Applications Lunch 'n Learn - May 15, 2013
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Honeywell/NECC Grand Slam Promotion
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March 22, 2013 - Still a Few Slots Left in Our Upcoming Classes

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When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

I changed my i Pod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

When chemists die; they Barium.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop any time.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz .

Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?